Twenty-four

One week down, one to go. I find myself at this strange peace. It reminds me of the third cycle last year, though there aren't really any signs pointing toward the same outcome. Looking at my chart, I had the highest pre-ovulation temperatures I've ever had, and there really wasn't a big shift after ovulation. I halfway think I might not have ovulated at all, though Fertility Friend has ovulation marked. I made the decision that since my paid membership is up at the end of this cycle, I will not be charting my three cycles on Femara. I tend to become obsessed with my temperatures and hate losing all hope way early. I think this is a good decision.

I am proud of myself. I have had no desire to test out my trigger shot this cycle. I didn't even lock up the tests. I just don't want to get my hopes up if the trigger shot sticks around longer than it has been. I refuse to test until next weekend, if I'm going to test at all. With the way my cycles have been, I may end up starting my period even before the weekend (that will make Mother's Day even more spectacular than it's going to be).

Speaking of Mother's Day, is anyone else sick of hearing about it, getting advertisements from stores in the mail or e-mail, and having commercials playing around the clock? I have cried at my fair share of those dang commercials and am absolutely dreading that day. It's not fair that I don't really have a right to celebrate (and I know hubby won't think of doing anything for me). Instead, I get to stay home and sulk. Perfect.

Regardless of my attitude this cycle, there's still little things that are nagging at me. For example, Lola decided to start sleeping on my tummy this morning. She hasn't done that before, and she climbed up on me twice while we were sleeping. Now, this could mean that she was cold and just wanted to cuddle or that she just wanted to be as close as possible to me (she is needy, after all). However, this was something Lucy only did throughout my pregnancy. She didn't do it before and she hasn't done it since. (For those who don't know, there are theories that pets can detect pregnancy hormones and act differently around pregnant women. From my experience, this seems to be true.) Seeing as how I'm not that far out from my IUI and implantation most likely wouldn't have occurred yet, I keep telling myself it means nothing that the puppy would lay on my tummy. Maybe she's picking up on the trigger shot?

Anyway, in other news... Some school librarian positions have opened up near Columbus, and I've started submitting applications. I'm incredibly nervous and am sure I'm not going to hear back about any of them. As a fallback, I applied at the public library in Cincinnati and have an interview in a couple of weeks. I'm also going to apply for a library aide position at the career center by my dad's house. I have to keep my options open and am really, really hoping I don't have to go back to retail just to start paying off my student loans. It's good to have these distractions, but I just wish I knew if I'm going to get pregnant so I don't end up getting a job and then having to take a ton of time off to be on bed rest.